Elle – World's Okayest Parenting

January 5, 2019January 5, 2019

Snail Cookies

Today Elle got the distinct pleasure of fulfilling a lifelong dream. (Keep in mind, she’s only lived six years so her dreams aren’t overly ambitious just yet.) This is a dream that I had as a child, and my mother had before me: Baking something in your very own Easy Bake Oven. Santa was good to Elle this year and she received the golden ticket last week, which we busted open today. Unfortunately, the oven only came with one tiny pack of cookie mix so this will also probably be the last time she ever does it. But she was one happy girl! We made the mistake of allowing Scarlett to assist us in our Junior Chef endeavors. She decided to devour the rest of what VERY little dough we had to begin with. (These packets basically make cookies for snails. And it only took an hour!) She also decided not to eat the dough with her fingers like a normal human, but instead opting to stick her entire head into the bowl; thereby achieving an entirely new level of gluttony.

January 4, 2019January 5, 2019

Dairy Disaster

Scarlett is singlehandedly trying to keep all dairy farms in business. While I appreciate the goal, I’m not such a fan of her approach. Here she is after emptying a gallon of milk on her cereal. Granted, it wasn’t completely full to begin with, but it wasn’t exactly empty either. I was upstairs when this happened (which explains a lot…that’s where I go to cry) but Elle and Rose ran up to get me. When I found Scarlett swimming through Lake Lactose I asked them why they left her and didn’t clean it up. They told me they thought I would want a picture first. Hmmm…these posts might be be getting in the way of my parenting. They were totally right though. I snapped a quick photo then scolded them for letting her get her hands on a gallon of milk.

January 3, 2019January 5, 2019

Kiddy Extortion

Some kids draw pictures and give them to their Mom out of love, respect, and gratitude. Not my kids. Today, Elle drew this beautiful picture, then told me she would sell it to me for two dollars. She even wrote the price at the top. I told her I’d think about it, partially just to make her reconsider her audacity, and partially because I didn’t know how to respond in the moment. What kind of message would I be sending if I bought it? By the end of the day I had come full circle and was completely fine with paying for my daughter’s love. Heck, two dollars seemed like a steal! So I bought it and now I’m a sucker. Tomorrow I’ll probably have to pay for a hug. I also only had a dollar on me when I paid for it because I was doing laundry at the time, and that was all that I could scrounge up out of the washer. (You can’t make this stuff up.) So I handed it to her and told her I’d have to get her the rest. Her response? “I said two dollars.” No joke. I think she’s going to be somebody’s enforcer some day. I’m also pretty sure I’m now getting charged interest. I didn’t read the fine print, so by tomorrow I’ll probably somehow owe her $14. By the end of the month I’ll be renting a bedroom in my own house. From her.

December 31, 2018January 5, 2019

Sick with Jealousy

My kids are weird about getting sick. Weird in the sense that they love it. Lady Luck cast her loving gaze on Elle today, as she had the good fortune of coming down with a sore throat this afternoon. Which made all of her siblings super jealous. I don’t get it either. This photo was of Rose as she tried to snuggle under the blanket and rub her face all over Elle, in an attempt to try and acquire a few germs and maybe strike gold tomorrow with a sore throat of her own. I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out.

December 30, 2018January 5, 2019

Balcony Roulette

My girls had their first Live Theater experience today. Big fans…big fans. Nothing quite like the high culture of Sesame Street. The below picture is not an accurate reflection of the joy they truly felt. (It’s more a reflection of their general feelings toward their mother.) Also, going to a show with 8 children (including nieces/nephews) between the ages of 2 and 6 and sitting in the front row of the balcony is a little like playing Russian Roulette with your kids. One of them is probably going over, you just don’t know which one it’s going to be. This picture was taken immediately after Rose (the four-year-old) got one of the “sternest” Talking To’s of her life. (Hence her mean mug.) Because she decided that she was agile enough to climb up on the railing. Twice. Thank God we grabbed her before she had fully mounted the railing. I guess sometimes you just can’t contain your Big Bird enthusiasm. Continue reading “Balcony Roulette”